Warning Lights
Thirty years of a body sending signals nobody read. The dash was lit the whole time — they just kept calling it something else.
Stream the Track
The Signs Were Always On
“Warning Lights” is track two on Factory Defect, and it states the whole record early. It opens at six years old with my hands humming like a live wire, and it ends thirty years later on three letters: F-N-D.
Everything between those two points is a list of signals nobody read. Straight A’s and a foot that would not stop tapping through the test. Ghost in the hallway, lazy penciled in on every pass. Pill after pill. A doctor tapping my knee, telling me the reflex looked fine, and never testing the static running through the line.
Then the dam broke. Flat on my face and fully conscious — I heard every word and could not move, could not talk, could not scream. It cost me my career to finally get a name for it: Functional Neurological Disorder. The software is the problem. The hardware runs clean.
The line that matters most to me is in the chorus: I’ve been screaming this whole time, you just called it doubt. That is not only this song. That is the whole album.
Lyrics
Six years old, hands humming like a live wire Saw my mom in stereo, told nobody, called it a lie Straight A’s on paper, foot tapping through the test They called it gifted, called it bored, never called it what it was Fluorescent lights buzzing louder than the teacher’s voice Staring at the clock ’cause the clock was my only choice Smartest kid in the building, first one falling apart Nobody reads a warning light when it looks like a spark The fog, the haze Mind on fire, never went quiet My body couldn’t keep up with my brain Those were the signs This was the beginning These were the— WARNING LIGHTS! Can you see me flickering, flickering, flickering out WARNING LIGHTS I’ve been screaming this whole time, you just called it doubt WARNING LIGHTS Every year you looked away was a year I went unheard These are the warning lights, these are the warning LIGHTS Ghost in the hallway, head down always They penciled in lazy on every hallway pass Pill after pill, they said it’d quiet the noise Called it ADHD, called it just a difficult boy Doctor tapped my knee, said the reflex looks fine Didn’t test the static running through the line Faking it, they said, kids don’t fake a twitch that won’t stop But a straight-A ghost is easy to write off Can you see me flickering, flickering, flickering out WARNING LIGHTS I’ve been screaming this whole time, you just called it doubt WARNING LIGHTS Every year you looked away was a year I went unheard These are the warning lights, these are the warning LIGHTS Day by day the brain got worse Twitching, nightmares, screaming Then one day the dam broke My brain flooded, hit rock bottom And my body rebooted Fell flat on my face, fully conscious Couldn’t stop, breathing heavy I heard every word, couldn’t move, couldn’t talk, couldn’t scream All these years I said something was wrong And everyone ignored the WARNING LIGHTS! Took the job, took the badge, took the paycheck pride Lost it all before I heard three letters, F-N-D Software’s the problem, hardware’s running clean Brain and body speaking languages neither one can read Cost me my career to translate my own signal Cost me the years I spent convincing them I’m normal Now I know the name for the static in my spine Wish it hadn’t taken losing everything to find Can you see me flickering, flickering, flickering out WARNING LIGHTS I’ve been screaming this whole time, and now you finally heard WARNING LIGHTS Every year you looked away is a year I can’t get back These were the warning lights, these were the warning LIGHTS I lost everything just to be heard Just to understand Just so everyone stopped calling me lazy It had a name, it has a condition But it’s lightly studied Now I sit here, day to day Knowing what Functional Neurological Disorder can break